What She Said: Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.
“If we define life too small, we will define ourselves too small as well.”
– My Grandfather’s Blessings by Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.
Being a Mama is Hard
It is true that women have been birthing and raising children for quite some time now. This fact does not however mean that this natural happening comes naturally to all of us. As this is the summer of ten eleven pregnant friends, I wanted to share a little of what I know. Or what I know so far – I’m still learning!
Wisdom (?) for the beginning part:
Sleep when the baby sleeps. This is not a joke.
Store brand diapers are great. Store brand garbage bags, not so much.
Almost anyone can make a meal, do laundry, or run an errand. Let them.
Every baby is different. I thought this was a weird lie the What to Expect people made up. I was wrong. When Lima Bean was born she was very tiny and cold and wanted to be held and snuggled while she slept. She was an excellent nurser and a generally happy baby.
When Ladybug was born we had so much trouble getting started. She wouldn’t latch, wouldn’t sleep, cried and was generally miserable. We took turns rocking and singing. By the second week, I had an infection, no sleep, and no clues. How was this even possible? I’d done this before. I’d babysat dozens of children who just needed clean diapers, a full belly, and a song to be happy.
Finally, I just prayed. “God. I just need to go to the bathroom. Just let her stop crying for five minutes so I can do that.” I set her in the, as yet unused, crib. Ladybug looked right up at me. Her whole body relaxed completely and she went to sleep. Every baby is different.
Ask for help. Find parents you like whose children you like. Put them on your support team. Watch and learn from them. Get advice.
Get advice, but trust yourself. You know your baby better than anyone. If you feel like something is not right, speak up.
Being a mama is hard!* Not every mama loves their baby at first sight or even three hundredth sight. Children are HUGE wavemakers disrupting routines, plans, and goals. Ride the wave. Cry when you need to. Ask for help when you need to. Take breaks. Be gentle with yourself. When you show up the next day and your kid looks like this, dance with them.
Don’t forget to eat.
Keep showing up. This advice will get you through parenting, 5K training, or even medical school. There are (still) days when I am convinced I am terrible at this. And then I cry a little, eat a snack, shuttle smallish bears to the next stop, make dinner, do the laundry, help with homework, ask for help, take a break, take a nap, and show up again the next day.
That’s all I’ve got for now. So far, it’s been enough.**
*I know being a papa is hard too, I’ve just never been one so it’s hard to write from that perspective. I’m pretty sure these things work for them too.
**Also, get a second pair of kitchen tongs. I have no idea why it helps, it just does.
Seeing and Hearing
Sometimes the message is so loud and so repeated that when you finally pay attention it is almost funny. Hello universe, it’s nice to see you too.
Saturday Knitting
The sort that is not hurried. Simple knitting with not so many stitches. The rows go quickly, the progress is visible. No worries about shaping or short rows or patterns. Just. Knitting.
As the Moon Grows Large
I love the cyclical nature of many things in the world. The warm air turning crisp each autumn, the in and out of the tide, even new residents arriving at the hospital each summer. I love the predictable unpredictability of things that are the same, but new and different all at once. The moon hidden and revealed as we move through time and space. It all entrances me.
Affirmation during the waxing moon
My peace is growing.
My love is growing.
My skills and talents are growing.
My joy is growing.
My resources are growing.
My relationships are growing.
I am open to receive all the gifts the universe pours into me.
I am growing.
Quilting = Sanity
This week the amount of time spent quilting and the amount of grace plus sanity I’ve exhibited have been directly proportional. A circuit issue in my dining/sewing room with a 12.5 hour work day nearly led to complete disaster.
The Kettle Slayer rescued me, braving the dark and damp basement and the unlabeled circuit breaker box.
I have four sets of strips sewn together. Halfway done with this part!
Twenty more to go. Tomorrow may even be a bonus sewing day if I’m able to take comp time to make up for today.
(Fabric is Hello Fall by Sandy Gervais for Moda.)
Hot
We had few warm days this summer, but September is determined to make up for that. I’ve spent much of today trying to devise ways to distill the heavy heat into an infusion I could put right into the marrow of me and use all winter to keep away the bone-breaking cold. As of yet I’ve been unsuccessful.
What He Said: E.B. White
One nation’s common sense is another nation’s high blood pressure. – from The Wild Flag by E.B. White
Piecing
These colors! Just in time for fall.
I hope it turns out the way I’ve been picturing it. The dream of this particular quilt has been around for longer than I’ve been quilting. Now the fabric, the design, and the time have aligned. I’ll be happily piecing this week. If I don’t make it in to work on Tuesday, they’ll know where to find me.
Happy Day
Tag sale fun
Goodwill drop-off > tag sale pick-up
Beautiful drive, sunny day
Good company
Clean house
Finished quilt
Happy bears
New things to learn
Quiet evening
Happy day
Naming Mountains 