Day Nineteen: A Ham to Ponder
Anne girl strode into the office today bearing this beautiful ham. “I brought you the ham to think about.”
You know you have a good friend when they bring you a ham to ponder.
This will be our main course on Thanksgiving and it is indeed good that I have time to meditate on it. Maple cured. That is good information to have before I gather ingredients for glazes and side dishes this weekend. The menu planning part is fun. What should we serve with this delicious beauty?
Day Eighteen: Blah
It is after 9PM and I am working. That is some indicator of how the day went. A technical issue at work combined with an afternoon appointment for a smallish bear led to seriously decreased productivity. I’m in a better spot now, but cranky from the long day. Frustrated with myself for being less present than I intended to be. Annoyed at one bear who forgot her parents speak to each other and will know if she is trying to play the two-house system. And so on…
It is not easy to snap out of this attitude. My face is solidly fixed at irritated. My whole self is blah.
Step one on the path to more joyful moments is to close up this work computer and go for a walk. It is late, but we’re in a better neighborhood now and I might be able to convince the Kettle Slayer to go with me.
Step two is to get to bed on time.
Step three is to be gentle with myself, with bears, and coworkers and try again tomorrow.
This blah ain’t got nothing on me!
Day Seventeen: Birthday Hinting
These are delicious. If you have gluten-free eaters in your life, I think this shortbread would make a great birthday present, stocking stuffer, or just because gift.
Also. John Irving has a new novel.
An evening with tea and shortbread and a new novel sounds marvelous. Depending on the age of your gluten-free loved one, you may want to skip the John Irving novel and pick something different. If your loved one is almost thirty-eight, then it should be all good.
Day Sixteen: Present and Pleasant
Both of the bears are happier when Pablo and I are able to spend time with them in active, present ways. I have to admit, my tolerance for unending hands of Go Fish is low. Quality time is not my strong suit. Gifts? Easy. Time? Harder. Time when I am also expected to be fully engaged and not multi-tasking? Nigh on impossible.
But not completely impossible. Presence was one of the words I wanted to focus on in 2015. It sat in the back of my mind, patiently waiting until I chose to pay attention.
When Lady Bug asked to join the choir for our special concert, I wanted to say no. She completely avoided that moment by asking the director first. Rehearsing next to her has been frustrating and fun. She absolutely beams when it’s our time to sing.
Lima Bean is less direct about her demands for presence. She wants me to sit near her, but not initiate interaction. I am learning how to do this on her terms and am beginning to reap rewards. Rewards that involve more opportunities to be present. (Since when did she want to play games with me??)
They are both dramatic. One embraces it and one tries (unsuccessfully) to hide it. In an effort to cultivate what needs cultivating in all of us, I thought maybe it was time to break out the good stuff.
Presenting the Smallish Bears and Friends Shakespeare Company!
Even the Kettle Slayer has joined in.
One of these bears is openly enjoying herself. The other can’t quite admit she’s having fun.
Little by little. Present and Pleasant is the mantra of the moment. This is a good thing.
Day Fifteen: Cultural Literacy
A new house comes with many projects. I brainstormed one page of things to accomplish and taped it up in a visible spot hoping that seeing it every day would help motivate me to action.
Lima Bean saw it for the first time this afternoon. “What!!?” I hear shrieking from the kitchen. “His name is ‘Don’? His name is ‘Don Quixote’??!”
I sit in the living room, waiting for some explanation.
“My whole life I thought it was ‘Donkey’!”
I have some work to do here yet.
Day Fourteen: A Smallish Project
Lady Bug has been pestering me to sew with her. She is still learning and also enjoys the company. I am not always patient about either of these things.
I’ve already stalled her for two days. “Choose your fabric tonight and we’ll look at it tomorrow!”
Today was the day. “I’m going to make napkins!”
“How many?”
“Seven!”
I mentally prepare for a long afternoon. She continues, “Seven of the blue flower ones, seven of the red flower ones, and as many purple bunny ones as I can with that piece.”
The blue fabric is tested on a water spill to see if it is napkin-worthy. We agree that it is both soft and absorbent.
She cuts out the first napkin. It is approximately the size of a toddler sock. We already have six “napkins” like this. I want to call her attention to the problem without being a total squelcher. “Compare that to the size of one of the napkins in the cabinet.”
“It’s too small,” she wails and immediately comes up with a solution. “I’ll cut four pieces like this and sew them together!”
We are never going to get through these napkins.
She cuts one more piece and has another inspiration. “I know! I can cut two blue ones and two red ones and then sew them!”
We sew. We pin.
We trim. We fix tangled threads and wind a bobbin.
And then…
…we have a napkin.
“I’m hungry. Let’s be done for today, please.” She looks worried I’ll make her finish the fourteen-plus napkin plan.
“It looks great. Let’s eat!”
She devours her pasta, wiping her mouth more often than usual. It is a very nice napkin.
Day Thirteen: Helpless
Watching the news from Paris unfold, I feel much the same as I did after the shootings in Connecticut – shocked by the violence and unsettled by the knowledge that we are are reasonably safe when so many in the world are not tonight.
I don’t have the words for this yet.
Day Twelve: Housework
The bears and I are planning to decorate the front window of the house for Christmas. We are gathering ideas and supplies and soon (not too soon) we’ll begin hanging shiny things up and stepping back and adjusting until all of the sparkles are in just the right places. As I write this, I am adding to the list of things we need – lights. It will be more fun if the window is lit so the glittering joyfulness can welcome us home after dark too.
There are many more necessary, utilitarian tasks than decking the halls. A gutter needs sealing and at least one bathroom still needs a curtain.
These are important, but making space for light and joy is important too. The winter is dark and cold. We have to find the light and make more of it to share.
I want the smallish bears to see this in action. As we make pies to share for Thanksgiving dinner, gather food and paper products year-round for the food pantry, I want them to understand that the smallest acts of kindness and service built into our daily routines spread joy beyond our knowledge and truly make a difference in the world. My hope is that they too choose to be and share light. And that this practice will help on days when their light is not so bright or easily found. I am learning this too.
Day Eleven: Team Player
Many of my coworkers are still at work, fixing a thing that is broken. From the moment we knew there was a problem, people were working together to solve it. I am thankful to work with these people and thankful that I am able to take a break to rest.
It is good to be part of a team that functions well. It is good to pay attention to the good things. I am practicing this. Noticing and acknowledging the best things. The more I practice, the more I see. And I thankful for this too.
Day Ten: Six Pairs Finished!
Socks 2015.6. For me.
Naming Mountains 